You, Me, and Naruto
by Frustrated and laughing
Summary: Based on the song You, Me, and Steve. Sakura loves being with Sasuke. It is almost perfect. Almost. Sasuke x Naruto, Sakura POV


I do not own Naruto or You, Me, and Steve

Sakura looked into the obsidian eyes of the most gorgeous man to ever live. No, like seriously, who da fuck looks this good? She had spent the entire day getting her hair and nails did, not to mention the deep body cleaning and intensive hot waxing. Yet, this Grecian god literally just put on slacks and a button down and still looks better than her.

The life of a woman is _so _unfair.

But whatever, Sakura just feels blessed to be on this date. She has been dating Sasuke for the past two months now and she has been praying that tonight is _the night._ She has waited patiently for this, but there always seems to be a problem to interrupt their magical evenings. Tonight, however, is problem free and finally Sakura's weekly waxing is going to pay off.

"Oh, Sasuke, you look so handsome. I can't believe you took me to Le Rouge, you are so kind." She gushed. She just could not help herself.

"Hm." The apathetic man hummed out, not really focusing on his girlfriend. For some reason he was scouting the door positioned behind her. Though the pinkette did not care; she just wanted to be in the presence of the Adonis.

"Well, my day has been a busy one. I just couldn't wait to see you. Did wait for tonight with bated breath too?" She just wanted to get to spend as much time with him as possible. And get laid because it has been three years, two months, and five days since she got her itch scratched. Too fucking long.

"Mmhm."

A yes in her book. Tonight is a go.

"Maybe we should skip dinner and go back to my-" A booming voice, a hauntingly familiar voice cut her off.

Oh look, _the problem._

An obnoxious blonde ran over to the couple and pulled up a chair. Naruto, as usual, was clad in bright orange looking like The Great fucking Pumpkin and it burned her eyes. He just had his giant smile and it drove the woman crazy. He always came to one of their dates. Like, _always._ Because he's Sasuke's best friend. But do you see Ino tagging along? She don't think so.

"Hey, Sakura!" he basically shouted.

"Oh, hey." she replied meekly. She's irritated now.

Sakura gives Naruto a _look_, but the pinhead doesn't get it. And Inner Sakura is ready to knock a bitch back and make carrot soup out of his Veggie Tales wannabe ass. But she held back. _Do it for Sasuke, it's his best friend. And Naruto's not bad, just an annoying orange._

She took a deep breath, exhaled, and put her libido back in the lock safe she wore around her chastity belt.

She looked over at Sasuke who, apparently, opened right up to the blonde beside him. Naruto was here for thirty seconds and already managed to do what Sakura was trying to for an hour.

Da Fuck?

The next dates were all the same. Sakura would shave (because waxing was becoming expensive) and doll herself up, only to be let down when the two men would spend the whole evening together. Honestly, although she'd never tell a soul this, she's starting feel like she's the third wheel on her own dates. She thinks that maybe Sasuke prefers Naruto over her, which normally wouldn't be an issue to her, if Sasuke had actually put in the effort to be with her. The lady feels like the shit that's on the fan after it hits that no one wants to clean up because that would mean cleaning everything else up, too. No one bothers with her either.

After their tenth date, the patient woman just snapped. Like, audibly. It sounded like a Kit Kat commercial. The trio were walking out of the Mexican circus when Naruto left to go to the restroom. That was her cue to strike.

"Sasuke, I need to talk to you." She said, trying not to show too much of her anger.

"Hm?" he replied, not really listening, just on his phone waiting for his boyfriend to get back.

_Wait, __**boyfriend**__? Oh my Black Jesus! How did I not see it before?_

"Are you in love with Naruto?" she honestly blurted that out, still processing her realization. And by the sudden focus on her through a blush ridden face, she got her answer.

"What? Of course not." Sasuke said nowhere near convincingly.

"Oh, really? You wanna act like dat?" Sakura was releasing the beast within and in no way intended to salvage any 'relationship' with her 'boyfriend'. "Fine, we can play like dat, but can you honestly tell me you plan on being with me because ya gotta let a bitch know, cuz I am too tired of shaving without banging. So can you tell me that much? Can you?" Sakura said, knowing full well she won this argument.

Sasuke did not know what to say because he knew that there might be some truth to Sakura's words.

Naruto took that time to make his grand return from the restrooms and by the way Sasuke immediately look to him -and his plump ass- that was more than enough confirmation for the pink-haired woman. She picked up the rest of the Twizzlers and popcorn (because she at least deserved a snack to eat the pain of rejection away) and walked to hail a taxi. But before she did, she just had one more thing to say.

"Have fun on your date." And walked out like a boss.

EPILOGUE

Naruto was confused as all hell, and though that was not unusual for him, he knew he missed a significant piece of information this time. Sakura left for no apparent reason and Sasuke is not doing a damn thing about it. His big black eyes are just gazing at the blonde and said blonde was staring back.

"What happened?"

"Oh, nothing, we just broke up, I guess." The pale man said nonchalantly.

"What? Why?" Naruto said in his usual near yell (so his inside voice, that goddamn megaphone).

"Because I already have a boyfriend."


End file.
